Lessons from Heartbreak
I’ve been single for quite some time, and it’s Not because I’m afraid of commitment, or afraid of being hurt.
Even Shakespeare said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”
I believe relationships (and love) is like a flower, if you don’t water it, nurture it, care for it, it will die. Even casual relationships require your time, depending on how much or how little you are prepared to give, someone always wants more of your time than you (or they) can give.
But we all wake up one days and say to ourselves, ‘the next person I date I’m staying with.’ So you go all out and fight for a lover who just wasn’t worth it.
After two or three times of this crap, you tend to become jaded. If a Man (or woman) tells you how you deserve better [it’s not you, it’s me], or, I’m no good for you, believe them. Reverse psychology: if you had a chance to date Rhianna, would you have enough confidence in yourself to believe you deserve her?
For women it’s a little harder, given the competition ratio (women out-number men 12-to-1). Once men discovered how many single, available women there are, chivalry died. They can smell your desperation and your low self-esteem, and will use it to their advantage.
“What one woman won’t do, another one will.” — Mo’Nique
Men will honestly tell you ‘I’m not looking for a relationship,’ and you’ll sleep with him anyway thinking he’ll change his mind. Nope!
Here’s a Golden Rule I’ve used to weed out the azzholes.
If you meet a man and you tell him you’re a Bitch, and that you don’t put up with nobody’s shyt, they’ll either run or stick around. There’s nothing wrong with playing hard to get, while letting a brother know you got trust issues. (Please don’t go into detail other than you’ve been cheated on, and leave it at that). Divulge more, and they’ll use it against you as your weakness.
Some people want to play around while others want to settle down. Our mistake, we don’t multi-date the way men do. Let them all know, they have to earn your “cookies” or keep it moving. They’ll say they’re single, but they all have a F*ck buddy on the sly too. (Unless he confesses he has a pet-name for five fingers).
Be the Bitch! Stick by your guns — Usually 10-to-30 days will tell you what kind of person they are, whether they have a woman, or side chick, or if they want to be serious about you…
Tell the truth about “why” you’re being a Bitch, (you won’t put up with A, B or C)… Either they’ll respect it, or say you’re being difficult.
If you’re accused of being difficult, they weren’t gonna fight for you any way.
Real Love is with fighting for.